Emotional Well-being at Bean Learning Bristol

A lot of thought and care goes into daily life at Bean Learning Bristol, a consent-based setting for home educated young people of 9 years +.

Here’s a taste of what that looks like in practice.

Written by Partner and Facilitator, Sarah Ridgeon

Flo

Feeling sad together

The other day, a couple of our young people arrived at BLB feeling very upset. They spent a long time on the sofa together in tears, discussing everything that was heavy and hard for them at the moment. As a facilitator, I checked in and asked if they needed any support from me and they were very clear that they didn’t. They explained that they were not in conflict but were feeling sad together. I checked in about whether they were in the right head-space for our morning meeting and asked if they would like to skip it and stay chatting. I let them know that I would stay nearby, in the kitchen, so I was there if they needed me for anything. I placed a weighted blanket and cuddly toy nearby, which they took and used, and then…

…well, then I gave them the time and space they’d so clearly asked for and needed.

What I did not do next

I didn’t judge them for their feelings, or even assume their feelings were uncomfortable for them. 

I didn’t attach fear or shame to the emotion of sadness. I didn’t tell them to stop feeling those feelings or try to distract them. 

I didn’t insert myself into the situation or assume that because I am an adult I could solve their problems, or even that they needed solving at all. 

I made sure they were safe and knew I was there if they needed me.

Emotional regulation support

After a while, they finished their discussion and, whilst one of them knew what they needed to regulate (a device and some headphones), the other was not so sure and seemed frozen in the doorway. I checked in with them to see if they needed anything and they said they didn’t know but they did not want to stay where they were. They eventually communicated that what they needed was to cuddle their pet. I asked if it needed to be their pet or whether they thought a hug with any pet would do and they agreed that it was the latter. So, all three of us got in the car and went round to Jo’s house to get Flo, Jo’s dog who often joins us at the setting. Cue lots of hugs, oxytocin, connection and regulation. 

Our priorities

This is just one example of the thought and care that goes into supporting young people in a consent-based and unconditional way. 

One example of how emotional well-being can and should be *prioritised* and young people given the time, autonomy and support they need to feel, identify and communicate their feelings and needs and for those to be respected and validated.

More information

Find out more about Bean Learning Bristol on our website by clicking here.

Alternatively, you can follow them on Instagram and Facebook by clicking the links.

Get in touch by emailing Sarah & Jo at hello@beanlearningbristol.com

Flo in her bed